How long it has been? A solid year- wait, perhaps more than a year since I last appeared on here. It definitely feels weird to be here and write something, but hello friends! I am back with another review, upcoming 20 reviews or more will be from my last year’s reads, mainly because I really want to keep up with my reviews in the way that I keep up with my reading, and the first review I’m presenting you is the fourth book of a ACOTAR series. Although it didn’t blow me away, I remember everything vividly, so here I go.
The book takes off right after the war with Hybern, the big bad villain of our series, and the struggles of Nesta after she’s become a High Fae due to being “dumped” in the Cauldron. The first three books didn’t give us much of a character build for Nesta, and to be honest with you, I hated her. I still do. It is something a lot of readers are divided on, but I must be honest, as someone who’s struggled before, as someone who is struggling now with self destructive behaviour and a mind of a literal wreck, I do not condone the behaviour she presented up until the last pages of the book. I’ve never lost a family member, and losing a father did hit her hard, I get it, but the refusal of help didn’t sit well with me. Not at all.
Nesta spends most of the book completely consumed by her own anger and self hatred. She drinks, sleeps around, spends Feyre’s money and pushes away basically everyone who tries to reach her. With some bullying to be better to herself and people around her, she tries to find purpose. Eventually, Feyre and the others decide that enough is enough and Nesta is sent to the House of Wind, where she is forced to train with Cassian and work in the library. And this is where the actual story begins.
While training with Cassian, Nesta slowly starts becoming stronger, both physically and mentally. She meets Gwyn and Emerie, two women who have their own trauma and struggles, and the three of them become friends. Their friendship eventually turns into the Valkyries, which was probably one of my favourite parts of the entire book. I loved seeing Nesta build something that wasn’t centred around romance or her relationship with Feyre. For once, she had people who chose her and who she chose in return.
Of course, this is still an ACOTAR book, so there is also a huge magical plot happening in the background. Nesta discovers that she has a connection to the Dread Trove, three incredibly powerful magical objects, and that Briallyn is trying to get her hands on them. There is also the whole Cassian situation, which I am sure absolutely nobody is surprised about. Their relationship starts with a lot of anger, sexual tension and two people who are far too stubborn to admit what they actually feel. Honestly, I enjoyed them.
Cassian was probably the character who made Nesta’s storyline work for me. He doesn’t excuse everything she does, but he also doesn’t completely give up on her. He pushes her when she needs it and gives her space when she needs that too. Their relationship is messy, sometimes frustrating, and definitely not healthy all the time, but it feels like two damaged people trying to figure each other out.
The biggest thing for me though was the friendship between Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie. Watching Nesta slowly come out of her shell and actually care about other people was far more meaningful to me than the romance. These three women start training together and eventually end up in the Blood Rite, where they have to rely on each other to survive. They could have turned against each other, but instead they chose to stay together. That felt like the real heart of the book.
Of course, friendship and romance is cool, but it is not the only thing that was happening in the book. Fae powers were something different when it came to Nesta. After being made by the Cauldron, Nesta has an insane amount of power, but she spends most of the book being afraid of what she is capable of. She eventually learns that she can use the Dread Trove and even create magical weapons herself. There is something quite fitting about this because Nesta spends the entire book believing that all she does is destroy. Yet she is capable of creating too.
By the end, Nesta finally accepts that she doesn’t have to keep punishing herself for everything that happened to her. She gives up a large part of the power she stole from the Cauldron in order to save Feyre and Nyx, and that is probably the closest thing we get to a proper turning point for her. Now now, the question in my head; did I suddenly love Nesta by the end? No, lol.
I still don’t particularly like her, and I don’t think trauma automatically excuses the way she treated the people around her. But I did understand her more by the end of the book. And maybe that was the point. You don’t have to like someone to understand them. You don’t have to excuse someone’s behaviour because you understand where it came from.
And you don’t have to forgive someone just because they are hurting.
For me, that is what made Nesta’s story interesting. Her healing wasn’t about becoming this completely different, sweet and perfect person. She was still Nesta. Still angry, still stubborn, still difficult. But she finally started choosing to live instead of constantly trying to destroy herself. I think this book will continue to be incredibly divisive, and I can understand why. Some people will see Nesta’s behaviour and relate to it deeply, while others will find it completely unforgivable. I’m probably somewhere in the middle. I understand the pain. I just don’t excuse what she did with it.
And honestly, I think that’s a much more interesting character than someone I simply learn to love. See you on the next review friends! Take care. 💕
