Hello hello! I’m back with a post to talk about how I’ve been doing. I do love writing my thoughts out a lot, and what is better than telling how I’ve been feeling recently here?
2022 ended in weird feelings for me. It surely wasn’t the best year I’ve had but I did my best throughout the year and I’m glad to say that it wasn’t as bad as last year or the year before. Now that the Covid-19 pandemic is taking its hands off of us, we have our social habits back. Well, sort of. Earlier this January I ended up having my fifth Covid but it was mild comparing the last ones I had, I recovered pretty quickly nevertheless.
As you well know from my other blog posts regarding this but I’ve started roller skating! It has been such a blast for me, meeting with new people, enjoying this physical activity and recording my journey as the days go by on my Instagram has been a huge help. I’m slow but steady for sure, I can do things I wasn’t able to – or never dreamed of doing in such a short time and it helps with my confidence a lot. I enjoyed my first disco night, I enjoyed lots of solo sessions and couple sessions with my husband. He doesn’t skate but he plays basketball and he surely enjoys watching me skate. I first thought that this hobby wouldn’t last with me since I get discouraged quite easily, however, it had a completely opposite effect on me. 😊 Whenever I fall, the first thing that comes to my mind isn’t how ashamed I am, but instead, it is to get up and try it again. Again, my brain orders me, again until you perfect it and do it comfortably. Again and again without getting discouraged, and this is by itself something I’ve been yearning for. The feeling and thought of perfecting something? It surely keeps you on the edge. Though as a corporate worker, I do not have as much free time as I’d like to, but I skate outside on weekends and enjoy small sessions during weekdays at home. I emptied one side of my study, there I can work on dance moves and have little silly fun!
Other than my newly loved hobby, I came back to journaling. It isn’t as often as before but whenever I feel like I need to pour my heart out, I’ve been grabbing my journal and enjoying my silent hour or two as I work on my spreads. I’ve prepared a huge list of stickers to get from Aliexpress (still the cheapest option for me lol) and I will order them as soon as I save enough money. Recently I looked at my old journals, the very first ones I started and the growth is undeniable to see. It makes me so happy that I am actually finding my own voice and style in journaling, and it makes me incredibly proud of myself. This is something I will never stop doing, even though there are times when I cannot deal with decorating aspect of it, I do write down whatever I have in my mind o that empty page.
I’ve been trying to be more active on my blog as well, though I’ve kind of dropped blogging over time (I opened my first blog in 2014, oh the good old book blogger days) I’m getting back to it little by little. I do not think this blog will solely be about books anymore, my old blogs were dedicated to books only (I wasn’t even talking about myself, my music, my hobbies or anything that made “me” actually) but I want this blog to be a safe space for people like me. For people who love doing different things. For people who are made of many things. Reading is still the biggest part of me and I will never stop writing book reviews or book-related things; however, I want to do more. I simply want to make my own space where one day when I look back I can remember. I can remember who I was and what I loved. I want to remember every part of me as much as possible so creating this space is incredibly important for me.
I’ve been also working on my relationship with others. I want to have boundaries because I’ve spent my entire life being a people pleaser and this actually has put me in a difficult position my entire life. I still cannot shake off the feeling that I had when I learned that the person whom I cared for over ten years was actually thinking of me as a bully, but I cannot actually decide what people think of me. I do not feel as disappointed at the moment however it was a good reminder that the people who hurt you most are the ones who are closest to you. So for 2023, my personal goal is to create healthy relationships with people I love and meet. I don’t think that I am a problematic person in general, however, I know that not everyone is thinking like me and I must be more careful with things I choose to say or do, and that is completely okay! It is completely okay to behave differently to people you love. Some people can have the same humour as you and some cannot and if you love them truly, it is okay to be kind and thoughtful of them. I used to be so weak to the word “NO” but I’ve been practising saying no. I’ve been practising setting my boundaries to make my mind less noisy. This is one of the most normal things that a person can want, and that’s O K A Y. ✨
Since I’ve changed my job, I’ve been eating more healthily too! I’m taking my lunch from home and eating less and less junk food every day. At 11 a.m. I prepare myself a plate of fruits to eat while I work. Home meals are always amazing and I am glad that I have the opportunity to nourish my body with good food. I am trying to drink at least two litres every day and it is still hard for me but I’m sure I’ll get there. 💁🏻♀️ Eating good food at work motivates me a lot, and it also helps my work as well.
I’ve also been doing stretching exercises every single day since January first! I want to be as flexible as I can, not only to lose weight but also to do ice-skating as well and body condition, flexibility, and durability of your body matter a lot for this sport. Slowly by surely I’ll get there and be more comfortable with my body. Even though it has been only two months since I started skating, I can feel the difference in myself. Not only the physical difference but also the mental state I’m in.
Overall, the past few months have been a blast. I and my husband and our cat are happy, I’m confident in myself and everything goes well. I wish to continue feeling like this and creating my safe space throughout 2023 as well. How have you been? I hope everything is okay with you as well. Take care until my next post! 💖
Luster of Books 